Researchers at The Slowaine Institue have long pondered many things and Professors Kay mee, and Loo kh, have been at the forefront of this research many years now, as their partnership in misanthropic, scientific and anthropological has furthered it has seen many mysteries unmasked and many boundaries of social interaction crossed.
What subjects and focused points of study have been achieved you ask?
Well. Several to be sure. (this is an example of the research the institute has done into looking at how ‘pirate talk’ can be introduced into normal daily and family conversation without feeling embarrassed and out-of-place at parties).
- Why is the male toilet always full at around 1030. (associated closely to why people feel the need to graffiti the toilet whilst alleviating themselves of human excrement)
This strange phenomenon takes place every day at the same time. Men stumble around awkwardly trying to take their place at the urinal. there is some flatulence involved but usually it just involves alot of men walking around like the undead waiting to pee or neglecting to wash their hands post urinating. This strange phenomena occurs we presume due to the fact that men seem to drink a lot of coffee prior to this time of day. Further investigation of this occurrence has unveiled new mysteries such as why men snort whilst defecating.
- Times per day You need to Vaccuum the House.
This brings only one factor into play. The professors have found the key element to this strange occurence. Each day two seperate catylsts are release from their synapses bedrooms and into the active field that is the house, they then cause attraction and depolarisation of every movable thing mainly toys and important adult things and distribute them unevenly around the house leaving food and drink deposits and waste products also evenly around the house.
This is due to an uneven engergy input/ouput imbalance between the catylsts nightmare children and the Hosts sleep deprived parents. this does cause some tensions and unstabel reactions during the course of the 24hr depolarisation. Some refactory period between 2000hrs and 2300hrs bedtime allows for necessary fuel intake by the host, and primative learning Jersey Shore
The over all out come of this study was a minimum of 8 times a day to vaccuum your house. Then there is the Mopping.
Current ongoing research into the effects of human lifeforms and their drain continually on my economy continues. More study result will follow. Until then the institute recommends all the fucking idiots that keep crossing my path on a daily basis and sucking my soul out through my fucking lacrimal ducts with their self absorb social existence and ongoing fucking bitching due to the fact they have no fucking life and live through passive aggressive cowardly callous lies, please, take care walk safely, eat healthy and most importantly of all…..
Please stop breathing.
