Archive for the ‘Fail’ Category

Being threaten with legal action for voicing an uncontested opioion

January 18, 2012

Please read and follow this site

No Place for Sheep.

What ever happened to being able to tell crazy right wing ‘anti everything’ activists to shut up.

This is in line with condoning the West Borough Baptist church’s views on anything, and funding them to act on any crazy notion they have.

Twitter, blogging, and other forms of social media give the people a voice. Whether it is an individual voice or one followed by a few thousand people.

Everyone deserves the right to have an opinion, but not the right to over react when disagreeing on one other than their own.

 

Inspired from

this SMH article

Anti-’Gangsta Lean’ Campaign

January 13, 2012

Sorry today has provided me much inspiration and whilst I wait for reports to run. I will quickly re write the rules on what you are and and are not allow to do whilst in motor vehicles.

As expertly recreated in MS Paint, I was an observer to a young male driving like this (please use some imagination) this morning, in what seemed to be his Mum’s Ford Fiesta (old model and it was blue). I wasn’t sure of the exact number plate so I just estimated. (It was probably closer to Douche’s Mum’s Car, but that wouldn’t fit)

So I have decided to make a list of cars you are not allowed to do that in. Ever.

1. Honda jazz

2. Any Hyundai

3. Any older model Ford, (excluded is the GT 500)

4. Honda CRV (I tested this out in ours and felt like a douche)

5. Ford laser

6.  Holden Astra

7. Any Holden

8. Audi TT (Daiahatsu Copen is acceptable)

9. Nissan Skyline R30/33/34(GTST model)

10. Mazda 3

11. Mitsubishi Mirage

12. Mitsubishi Lancer (any with Chrome aftermarket tail lights)

13. VW Polo

14. VW EOS

15. Toyota Corolla

16. Any BMW older than this year.

17. Audi RS4 (too gangsta to be gansta leaning in especially the Advant)

18. Mostly all cars

19. Those $50 mountain bikes you see people rding on with the motor attached.

20. Those thin Skate boards that are back in fashion

21. Dunlop Volley Shoes

22. Any clothes from Glue Store

23. Roller shoes are ok if the child is Gangsta

24. Ikea Trolley (unless you bought expidite book shelf they are gangsta)

25. VW Beetle (new version)

26. Any care with a Tape deck

27. Toyota utes with carpet on the rear tray and some empt chrome tool boxes

28. Horses (mules are totally more gangsta)

29. Any car with flag of any nationality on rear view mirror

30. Any car with Garter belt hanging from review mirror

31. Any Car going through McDonalds’ Drive through (please refrain from being gangsta as Mcdonalds’ workers deserve our respect)

32. Vespas

33. Yellow Cars (Lancer Evolution 9 exception)

34. Yellow motorbikes

35. Guys on motors bikes in thongs, shorts, and muscle shirt/singlets.

 

Any others please feel free to comment.

 

 

Just read this.

December 21, 2011

Srsly. People have no conscience.

get a crisco hamper stop stealing other people’s shit. Especially at this time of year.

Click for story about scum

 

Yep. No they’re not.

November 29, 2011

20111129-152736.jpg

Found on the interwebs. Thoroughly backs up my rationale that tights are not pants.

What Christmas is this year.

November 26, 2011

So this is what Christmas of 2011 is.
I girl dressed in her under where holding a fucking can of pears.
Now I know that my irritation with this does not stem from the fact that I am a dad and have a family or the fact I may have a few salty patches on my la tete.

But fuck. What the fuck does a can of tinned pears and some girl in her fucking under wear giving a spoon a blow job have to do with Christmas.

Yes I know that it is supposed to reference a pear tree but. Let me do some simple mathematics around this.

Whorish posing ex pat + table spoon / underwear = whorish girl eating tinned fruit…….. No wait I must have done that wrong.

Girl in underwear X giving a blow job to a spoon / Christmas = whorish girl eating pears underdressed.

Nope well

Neither of those equal Christmas.

And I am sure if I did the same equations for Jennifer whorkins diving in to a pool full of Christmas tree decorations it would come out the same. Whorish girl using blow jobs and swim suits to relate to christmas.

Some times I think Myer and DJs would be better brothels.

Then I am forced to think of the 67.5er bitches that dominate the staff roster until they die of Sheridan poisoning and I literally shudder.

A Christmas tree with a couple of presents and a sale sign would have most ladies swarming myer.

Now on Christmas eve there will be a bunch of blokes walking out of Myers and DJs depressed because there was no blowjobs. Just cut priced women’s make up and Calvin Klein unisex perfume.

Sorry team.

End rant.

20111126-174421.jpg

Honestly

October 28, 2011

Who gives a fuck if this douche uses eggs or not. Did he poop them out his cloaca?!??
If he did then I will buy them. If not. Then for fucks sake Australia

20111028-205329.jpg

Raising awareness. [Again.]

October 26, 2011

Hate the game but love the story line and secretly think it is definitely based on a true story

any ways I know I have mentioned this before possibly on twitter but hopefully you guys have been watching these bastards too.

A little bit I love the thought of a company maybe not as evil and maybe a little bit more security conscious  like Umbrella Corporation running around, in a over sized bee hive under the ground.

or maybe they already are.

example.

Avon Product ‘Anew Derma Full’

 

Umbrella Corporation’s ‘T Virus’

 

Coincidence? I think not.

 

Pandainabattlesuit vs ‘Katie’ [paypal Resolutions]

October 24, 2011


Katie
Hi, I’m Katie. I might not be a real person, but I am programmed to answer your questions about PayPal.

How can I help you?

You
i would like to remove a credit card from my account but it says i still have a pending transfer?

Katie
You can remove your credit or debit card details in your Profile page under Financial Information. You may need to log in to see this page.
You’ll then be able to remove credit card information.

Note: You cannot remove a card if you have a pending transaction or if you recently used the card as a backup funding source for an Instant Bank Transfer payment.

Before we continue, was the information I gave you helpful?
-Yes, this was helpful
-No, this was not helpful

You
No, this was not helpful

Katie
I’m sorry that wasn’t helpful.
How can I help you?

You
you are so great kaite

Katie
Thanks! I do my best to help people out on our site.
Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

You
but you are no match for Siri

Katie
I don’t know exactly what you mean. Can you be a little more specific about the issue?

You
Well you are not satisfying my needs

Katie
Ok. I don’t know exactly what you mean. Can you be a little more specific about the issue?

You
Yes I want to remove a credit card, and although I like robots I am not having a pleasurable experience

Katie
Thanks… But remember, I’m here to help you with questions about our site.
Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

You
Well you could, by electronic means, go and grab me a non robot helper

Katie
You can remove your credit or debit card details in your Profile page under Financial Information. You may need to log in to see this page.
You’ll then be able to remove credit card information.

Note: You cannot remove a card if you have a pending transaction or if you recently used the card as a backup funding source for an Instant Bank Transfer payment.
Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

You
off you go

Katie
You can remove your credit or debit card details in your Profile page under Financial Information. You may need to log in to see this page.
You’ll then be able to remove credit card information.

Note: You cannot remove a card if you have a pending transaction or if you recently used the card as a backup funding source for an Instant Bank Transfer payment.
Let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.

You
a little bit i think you like the sound of your own ones and zeros

Katie
I’m not sure what you mean. Can you be a little more specific about the issue?

You
ones and zeroes. you know. bit transfer

Katie
You might find your answer in the links below. If not, try rephrasing your question:
- How do I add funds?
- How can I withdraw money from my PayPal account?

You
pineapple

Katie
It looks like you’re entering a keyword. If you use a whole phrase, I could give you a better answer.

You
do you like robots

Katie
I’m not sure what you mean. Can you be a little more specific about the issue?

You
robots with lasers

Katie
I don’t know exactly what you mean. Can you be a little more specific about the issue?

[me: discoonect]

Who would have though that a really bad AI system could be so fucking useless. Thanks Paypal.com.au, thanks for all the good times.

Apparently.

September 30, 2011

20110930-092359.jpg

Apparently if you fit the following criteria, it gives you the right to be an absolute fucking bitch who thinks her mobility aid is a shield/ramming device/child squasher/sympathy aid/invisibility cloak/Harry potters broom(the fast posh one)/a throne/the pope mobile/a limousine/krang’s mobility robot/inconspicuous part of her other wise fully functioning legs.

A. You are the rude bitch picture above in the mobility aid
B. You seem to think driving over children to pay your parking ticket is acceptable.
C. You don’t feel that the world needs you to say excuse me now that you can ram people out of the way with your ‘sans blade ride on lawn mower’
D. Your disability extended to your ‘manners gland’
E. You feel as though waving your ticket in front of the ticket machine will act telepathically to tell your 40 year old virgin son that he needs to inconvenience you by scaling over you to pay for parking because you shouldn’t have to say “hey son who still lives at home I could tell because of the suit pants/joggers/parra jersey thing with a Parker he was rocking Could you please be a dear and check we haven’t gone over three hours?”

Fuck. Some thing bad may have really happened to this lady. But acting like a fucking bitch that the world owes something won’t save your soul.

Creepy creepy children’s toys

September 29, 2011

Sometimes you have to buy toys for kids right? Well everytime I go shopping for kids toys I can’t help be fascinated with the varied large range of crap and weird crazy as shit toys.

Take babies for example. Toys that is. Toy babies as in baby dolls.

You would think that well if we don’t want our kids to have a weird-as-fuck perception of the world then we would just stock sell and buy normal babies. Normal little cute babies with normal skin colours.

Not babies that are ‘Born awesome’ like our friend here ‘Makayla Song’

20110929-192909.jpg

For real? Born awesome? What the fuck is that about?

Then you have got the creepy facial expression section. I could have been in this isle at the local target for weeks taking portraits of the evil or bemused or awkward looking little fuckers.

I don’t remember our children ever having the expression ‘gangsta looking dodgy drug lord baby’ like our friend here

20110929-193202.jpg

Honestly. Or the ‘yeah bitches baby’

20110929-193246.jpg

Or this one I like to call the ‘I just shit in your bed’ baby.

20110929-193352.jpg

Or the ‘i didn’t steal shit!’ baby.

20110929-194140.jpg

And not to mention last but not least. The ‘the yeah, we are all virgins aren’t we….guys???!?…guys!?!’ baby.

Toy makers need to pull there fucking heads in Srsly. Guys. Come on

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