Pandainabattlesuit

When you go to shop that is a little bit posher than say… oh the mixed business down the road that not only sells shampoo but also sells cabbages (my opinion only).  You expect a certain level of products to be available that are slightly over priced and fit into the niche of the market I like to say is aimed at GAP parents.

So while we were shopping at Myer the other day, I found the following products.

I don’t know.  You might all disagree, but being serve by a ‘lovely Myer product consultant’  shisedo rep in a fake lab coat, who thinks she is a doctor and buying an ‘organic’ product that “keeps your baby happy and sniffle free”  was close to the most ridiculous thing I could possibly think of. Beside perhaps, going on a drinking binge with a donkey in a lab coat, claiming he was a head and neck surgeon giving people advice on their neck length in proportion to their carbon footprint.

Imagine this “potion” did what it claims. Baby teething>? ? well just spray some snotty grotty, the baby will just become happy, which I am sure it will be anyway, once you massage it with some $60.00 baby massage oil. what the fuck happened to baby oil?

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind spending any amount of money on my children or our friends children. But when it comes to things riding the ‘organic’ wave, whilst being retained in a plastic container, that over time will probably kill more wild life than the pesticides that were ‘not’ used to make the product I have to be a little sceptical.

The packaging does look great, and if I had a black Amex and my baby wasn’t sleeping I would buy a whole shipment of this stuff and paint the fucking house with it  and try it out, but come on, does it need to cost this much money. Maybe it does? It definitely looks nice. Maybe I could explain that to the baby.

“Well honey, I know you are 6 months old, and haven’t slept in the nigh for 5.97 months, but this beautifully packaged, interestingly priced spray is going to ‘change’ all that ok hun?”

….or Maybe it is paying ‘Dr Shisedo’, to ask me “can I help you with anything” when I am standing at the check out piling ‘interestingly priced’ goods onto the counter to purchase them for a friend. You decide.

But this does make me wonder. What will people buy. If it looks nice. Packaged right. ‘Interestingly priced’. Will people with a lot of money pretty much just say fuck it and buy it?

An example perhaps?

In a tanning Booth some where whilst children in a crèche (scenario may not have happened and does not mean to reflect Tiffany and Mercedes are bad parents in any way)

[Scene]

Tiffany pippa whosenbery: “Hey, Mercedes Porche Van Squibenberg, I got this awesome lotion/potion the other day for $5000 a bottle!!”

Mercedes Porche Van Squibenberg: “Wow Tiffany pippa whosenbery, what does it do?, Does it look great, where from?”

Tiffany pippa whosenbery: ” Well I just got it from that mixed business..whats it called, not versace the other one?”

Mercedes Porche Van Squibenberg: “oh you mean Prada?”

Tiffany pippa whosenbery: “oh yeah, thats the one. Well what you do is, it is for for your baby, and it says if you rub it on your car tyres before you drive in the ocean, then your baby will be able to grant three wishes”

Mercedes Porche Van Squibenberg: “oh you mean that new product by MILK for Babies, I have that, its called Fairy Wish Baby Magic Rub For Car Tyres!, Did you know you can also get it for sheep dogs, before they do maths quizzes? it is similarly called Fairy Wish Baby Magic Rub For Sheep dogs, before they do Maths Quizzes! ”

Tiffany pippa whosenbery: “yeah thats it, do you have some, wow, does it work???”

Mercedes Porche Van Squibenberg: “no”

[enter Donkey dressed as Head and Neck surgeon, smoking a cigar]

Dr Shisedo: “Bet that bottle looks really good though?, and did you know while using it you and can decrease your neck length and carbon footprint by consulting our specilaist drunk donkey techinicians??”

[end scene]

Perhaps you can see where I am going.